Rant: I Want To Be Great

Last modified on 2009-12-01 16:31:21 GMT. 1 comment. Top.

I’m not focused. July 2008 I gave up the good life to move in with my family for the first time in 10 years.  Sacrifice breeds’ growth I thought, but what is sacrifice without a plan for change.  I had a lofty idea to take over the world, right my wrongs and focus on being great.   November 2009 I’m licking old scares and wondering why I’ve haven’t progressed; I’ve lost focus.

The answer to my happiness, the key to my greatness has always been in front of me and I’ve been too lazy to grab hold.  I’ve wasted months, almost two years focusing on NOTHING, which has left me with nothing, and I’m pissed at me.  I’ve researched, polled, and interrogated others looking for the answer, asking them to define me because I was unwilling to work on me.

Sitting on the bottom and staring at others successes should’ve been enough to motivate but it wasn’t.  Seeing my ideas carried out by people less skilled should’ve sparked a mood change but it didn’t. Living a life of despair with no direction should’ve been enough to get me moving but it wasn’t.

Self-reflection and quietness has made more noises than I could ever imagination. I read a statement the other day, “She said she didn’t work because it would mess up her welfare check,” I laughed and smh. Then I reflected, bitch you say the same shit everyday. You’ve used that same jacked up reasoning to justify your depression and stagnant lifestyle.

I cry for greatness, acceptance, growth and prosperity but I realized I wasn’t worthy or ready.

I don’t have a plan, but today 27 days before my 27^th birthday I have a flame.  I pledge to MYSELF to let it grow. I will let it build and burn bright. Bump the status, the money and the fame; I’m fighting for my sanity.

Sorry for the disappointment and disappearance but I’m back with a vengeance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amber Rose Is An Imposter, But Is It Ok?

Last modified on 2009-07-27 20:09:47 GMT. 5 comments. Top.

Today I want to talk about the glory that is Amber Rose. I had the opportunity to meet her on the scene in Philadelphia  and I must congratulate the transformation. The statuesque like stance, the flawless skin and her signature blonde Philly fade makes her a force to be reckoned with.

Through my interactions, I’ve always known her to be gay but her introduction  to the world presented her as the sex siren trophy chick to hip-hop mega star Kanye West. 

I understand the hustle. You have the opportunity to meet a person who can change your life. You’re in a relationship with loser and you want more. Mr. Hip-Hop promises riches beyond your wildest dreams and all you have to do is fuck what you like and know and be my girl.

There is a difference between someone being bisexual and someone faking for fame, and when I think of Amber and her crafted image I wonder if that is the case. If you read the rag mags, you’ve heard of her scorned lover Tiffany and her trysts with her stripper friends and the never ending rumors of Kanye’s sexuality and it makes you wonder are these two for real?

As a woman you learn to use your sexuality to advance your agenda and that’s not my issue. My bigger concern is people playing with their sexuality and treating being gay as joke. I’ve never been a flag-waving lesbian but as a group, we are at a pivotal point for gay rights. With people treating it like a trend it surely minimizes the strides we can make. In recent years, being a chick that kisses chicks has become super cool. It makes you edgy and racy and people have been dipping in and of the life like a swim in the pool.

It annoys me she and others in Hollywood lie about who they are. It annoys me that people take the movement for equality for the GLBT community as joke, and on a deeper level I don’t understand bisexuals.

For today’s tea, I ponder the questions is it progressive to still be closeted in 2009 and is it ok to fake the funk for the advancement of fame? 

 Please comment and tell me what you think of the

Suga Honey Nice Tea!

 

 

 

Day 1: Damn, I Think The Next Fart Is Going To Be Shit

Last modified on 2009-07-24 16:20:10 GMT. 3 comments. Top.

I’ve started the Master Cleanse this afternoon. I went to bed after a semi-binge and woke up feeling nasty and fat. Clearly it’s a Wednesday afternoon and who begins such a daunting task in the middle of the week, but it was one of those moments where there will always be an excuse to start it tomorrow so I said the time is now.

I went to the Fresh Market, got my lemons, sea salt, maple syrup and took it all home. I use the Badia Natural Tea already so no need for the Smooth Move stuff. I clearly didn’t pay attention to third grade math class,  because I was having a hell of a time doing the conversions.

After the long division, multiplication and my abacus I figured out the conversion for my sea salt flush and a half days worth of “juice”.
I drank my flush and now I’m just waiting for the goodness to flow. I have a truly jacked up bowel system. I’m sure my insides could crush rocks so I didn’t expect to have a movement for hours. But as promised within the hour my ass was running for the toilet.

I’m at the counter grinding lemons passing gas being so un-MaxWell like, and I turn to my sister like, “Yo, I think the next fart is going to be a shit.” Like an ancient prophecy I felt my draws start to stick to my ass from the moister. I tripped over the damn cat and make a b-line for the bathroom and wasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssh it all oozes out into the toilet. I call the bathroom home for about 12 minutes and now I’m back at the counter grinding lemons. Yes nasties I washed my hands.

I have everything in the blender and now I’m trying to figure out how to manage the cayenne pepper. The last time I ventured to do the Cleanse I jacked up the pepper ratio and screwed the whole thing. I used 1/8 of a teaspoon for my 32.oz mix and it was still too much so I made another 32 oz. of just the juice and cut the other portion. As long I drink it quick its not too bad.

I want to complete a 15-day cycle and once I ramp off the Cleanse I plan on starting the South Diet. I truly want to get my weight and health under control and since I haven’t seen the inside of the gym in a good week. I felt like this was a good way to refocus. Although I have one hand on my junk food draw with a cigarette in the other I really intend on seeing this through.

If you want to learn more about the Master Cleanse you can pick up the book in my store.

I think I’ve shared more about my insides than you care to know but I plan on blogging for the full 15 days so please check back for more. Follow me on Twitter for up to the minute reactions..lol…

Please comment and share my story, because sharing is sexy!

The Ugly Truth On Why I’m Doing The Master Cleanse

Last modified on 2009-07-24 16:09:17 GMT. 1 comment. Top.

It was about 2:30am and I’m watching a rerun of some HGTV show, stuffing myself with a nicely toasted raisin bagel while sipping on a smoothie.  It was dripping with country churn style butter and jam and I was in heaven. Once I finished my midnight snack I needed a smoke right.

So I’m on the patio puffing away and I start to feel sick, real nauseous like. I run into the bathroom, kneel down to the porcelain goddess and put my fingers down my throat. I know VERY Lifetime movie. Now I have a horrible gag reflex so my smoothie and bagel come flying out all Carrie like and I’m totally disgusted.

I go to wash up and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I have a real light bulb moment. Without going all after school special on you guys I was truly over myself and realized I can’t keep living on the edge. 

I was feeling the lowest of the low and just disgusted with myself and was surprised I could even consider throwing up like that.  I was selling bulimic tea and I didn’t like that feeling. I consider myself strong always preaching self-love and prosperity and I was straight abusing my body.

It was at that moment I decided to start the Cleanse, get back on track and reclaim all the glory that is Gabby.   I have a sorted history of procrastination, not completing things or rationalizing myself out of my goals and I didn’t want it to be that way.

As soon as I woke up I bought my supplies and started sippin’. I want to meet my weight loss goals not simply for vanity, but I want to prove to myself I can set a goal and complete it without wavering. I’ve stumbled a little if you check my tweets, but Day 1 was ok and I know Day 2 will prove to be just as strong.

So please check back, leave comments and share my story, because sharing is sexy!

An Emotional Eaters Dream: Guilt-Free Snacks

Last modified on 2009-07-13 18:01:17 GMT. 0 comments. Top.

Recently I’ve discovered I’m an emotional eater.  One day I’m pissed off about one thing or another and I ran to the kitchen to fix a juicy sandwich and I realize silly you’re not even hungry.   Now I’m still sick but I make better food choices whenever I want to get into my feelings. One of my favorite snacks is chips and dip; namely spinach dip. I love the one from Chili’s but this low carb option surely hits the spot when needed.

INGREDIENTS:

1 10-ounce package frozen chopped spinach (fresh is preferred)

10 cloves garlic, 1 clove elephant garlic,

or 2 tablespoons bottled minced garlic

1/4 cup skim milk

1/8 teaspoon salt

1 8-ounce package Neufchatel cheese, softened

Chopped tomato or shredded Monterey

Jack cheese (optional)

Dash bottled hot pepper sauce

DIRECTIONS:

In a saucepan cook frozen spinach according to package directions, then drain well.

Place garlic in a blender container or food processor bowl. Cover and blend or process for 5 to 10 seconds or till minced. Add the cooked spinach, milk, salt, and hot pepper sauce. Cover and blend or process till well combined. Add Neufchatel cheese; cover and blend or process till smooth.

Transfer spinach mixture to the saucepan. Cook and stir over medium-low heat for 4 to 5 minutes or till mixture is heated through.

To serve, transfer dip to a small serving bowl. If desired, sprinkle with chopped tomato or Monterey Jack cheese. Serve with toasted pita wedges or Tortilla Crisps.

TIME:

Preparation Time: 20 min.

Cooking Time: 4 min.

NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION PER SERVING:

1g protein

1g carbohydrate

2g fat

5mg cholesterol

44mg sodium

43mg potassium

This makes 15 (3-tablespoon) servings with about 69 calories/serving. When you add the chips you at a great guilt free 100-calorie snack that still allows you to eat those feelings away.