Perspectives: Suffering From a Broken Heart
Last modified on 2009-07-30 05:15:24 GMT. 0 comments. Top.
First off I wanna start of by saying I’m not crazy. 
In fact my mind is as clear as it’s ever been. Today, I feel deeply rooted in my convictions; I’m in love. Have you ever been so enthralled with someone you couldn’t see straight? For me with this man it’s far beyond a physical attraction; I love his mind, his spirit and style, this man is just fly; a supernova in its truest form. We have nice deep sexy conversations we spend quality time and just relate on many levels. A few months back we had what I thought was a small disagreement and he told me he no longer wanted to be friends and loose his number I was hurt. I tried to maintain my swagger and let it fall off my back but I’m hurting deep.
It’s been a few weeks and I think I’m becoming a stalker. I’ve pasted by his job, I’m constantly checking up on his myspace and facebook accounts to get updates. I’ve even called his voicemail and hung up just to hear his voice. A few weeks have gone by and I’m stuff hurting.
Recently he called me up out the blue and my heart went a flutter. I so wanted this call and now that I had it I didn’t know what to do. I allowed myself to be caught and we talked and now we’ve reconnected. I know I seem desperate to still want him but I know he is a true gem. Tell me what I should do to keep him this time around?
Peace and Love, Suffering From a Broken Heart
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Well my sister, I’ve never been the type to kick someone while they’re down, but I feel like jumping on top of you and shaking you until the crazy people fall out. I get the impression homeboy came back into your life because his first, second and third choices told him to hit the road; I’m unclear why you haven’t followed their lead?
When I read your letter I had a lightbulb moment and saw a reflection of my own dating history. I too settled for what I thought I deserved and allowed someone else to dictate what I should feel and my self worth. I’ll tell you what I told myself when I had enough, “WOMAN SNAP OUT OF IT! You’re better than 
that so act like it!!!” You’re ambushing this man who has clearly given you all the signs that you are a filler chick. He can’t have the one he wants so he is tolerating the one he can get, and regardless of how great you think he is you should want better for yourself honey.
It seems at this point he’s reconnecting with you because he misses the fan club. Has he really expressed a liking to you? Have you met his friends of family? Although someone may seem great it doesn’t mean they’re great for you. You’re searching for love, strength and support and must find those I yourself first. Than you have a to find a person who is willing to share and give those things to you. My advice is change your number and work on building your self-esteem and find self-love.
Perspectives: Beyonce Wanna-Be
Last modified on 2009-07-30 04:44:38 GMT. 0 comments. Top.
I write to you from my dark and desolate apartment alone on a Saturday night. Tonight isn’t any different from any other night. I’m currently at my wits end playing my Sade cd and I know I need help. I’ve been trying to figure out why I am single at 26 and I think the people around me are more concerned with sparing my feelings than helping me.
I have enclosed a photo of myself and I know I don’t currently look my best, but I’m a hell of a catch. I have BA in English from West Chester University; and I’ve maintained full time employment at a bank for 3 years. After a string of jumpoff situations, being used for my apartment, car, money and being abused by my last “boyfriend” I need a change. Help me help myself, upgrade me Gabby. 
Respectfully Yours,
Beyonce Wanna-Be
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Thank you for taking the first step. As I look at your photo, it makes me wish for the days when Ricki Lake was the makeover queen. I think the fastest way to aid in your betterment is to adjust your look head to toe. Getting rid of the wig, the discount gear, a trip to the dentist and facial will set you on the yellow brick road of enlightenment. 
Changing the outside is first step in your upgrade; you have to look within. People only do what we allow them to and you can’t blame anyone for your situation. Taking steps to improve your mind and spirit will give a far better reward than fixing your body. Not having self-worth allows you to be used by everyone. Look into the past and emotions to discover why you allow this and fix it. Stop being an easy button and start saying no and mean it. Get a book of affirmations (check our the store) and stay saying them to yourself. Start writing down the things you see for yourself and your future. Create your ideal met and soon the dream will come true when you’re ready.
Perspectives: A Baller’s Wife-To-Be
Last modified on 2009-08-18 00:49:32 GMT. 1 comment. Top.
Hey Ms. Honey!! First off I really like the site you’ve put together and your commentary keeps me in stitches. At first I was feeling really embarrassed about writing in for advice, but like you said, it’s a bigger embarrassment living a common life of a common person, so I got on my computer to make my confession; hopefully you can help.
About a year ago I went to a concert and caught the eye of a tall fine blinged out brother a few rows back. We smiled at each other, flirted with our eyes and during the intermission we started chatting. 
He’s a African rapper (pretty hot overseas) and didn’t speak very little English but I could just feel our energy and we had an instant connection.
He was in the states for work and pleasure and getting some inspiration from our culture. Anyways, we spent the next few days together and we have been carrying on a long distance relationship every since. I truly love this man. He’s in my top 8, and when he came to visit me this summer he met my parents and things went great. There are a few things that concern me and this is where I need your help.
He has a wife and kid and she lives in Spain and they haven’t lived together for 3 years; I know he’s married. He’s not carrying on like a married man and I know that makes no difference but I’m really feeling him. He is of a different religion, which is an issue for my old school parents and there’s that language and cultural barrier but I’ve been taking language lessons and his English gets better with each of our late night conversations. Recently we’ve talked about marriage and me moving to overseas with him. I’m ready to live the life of a baller’s wife but my family and friends thinks it’s a horrible idea, what do you think?
Sincerely,
A Baller’s Wife-To-Be
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Thanks for writing in and the compliments. Well my dear let me explain something to you. You’re delusional. 
The fantasy you created, choosing to over look some key details that a normal woman would run from speak volumes of your character. Although people do find love in the club it’s unlikely. It seems like you’re caught up in the glitter and are not focusing on the true meaning of relationship and love. How well do you know this man, do you agree on the larger issues of life like, money, family, and children religion, politics? From your letter, it sounds like there isn’t a meeting of the minds on a few of these key issues.
Learning and accepting culture isn’t a big issue but are you willing to convert? Are you ready to be a mother? Are you ready to step in his shadow? The Tiny & Toya show is a great example of the downside of dating a “baller.” Like Tiny, are you ready to give up your dreams to please your man? There are surely benefits to a lifestyle filled with money, but is that worth your piece of mind? I would say although he seems right he probably isn’t right for you. When you ask yourself the bigger questions and remove your rose colored glasses, you would agree. 
Money is the root of all evil and the destruction of life. From the great words of Diamond, “make that money don’t let it make you.”
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